The Pit

The Pit

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A man fell in a pit and couldn't get out.
A SUBJECTIVE person came along and said:
"I FEEL for you down there!"
An OBJECTIVE person came along and said:
"It's logical that someone would fall down there."
A CHRISTIAN SCIENTIST came by and said:
"You only think you are in the pit."
A PHARISEE said:
"Only bad people would fall in a pit."
A MATHEMETICIAN
calculated HOW he fell in the pit.
A NEWS REPORTER
wanted the exclusive story on his pit.
A FUNDAMENTALIST said:
"You deserve your pit."
CONFUCIOUS said:
"If you would have listened to me, you would not have fallen into that pit."
BUDDHA said:
"Your pit is only a state of mind."
A REALIST said:
"That's a pit."
A SCIENTIST
calculated the pressure necessary (lbs./sq.in.) to get him out of the pit.
A GEOLOGIST
told him to appreciate the rock strata in the pit.
AN EVOLUTIONIST said:
"You are a rejected mutant destined to be removed from the evolutionary cycle."In other words, "He is going to die in the pit, so he can't produce any pit-falling offspring."
The COUNTY INSPECTOR asked:
if he had a permit to dig the pit.
A PROFESSOR
gave him a lecture on the elementary principles of the pit.
An EVASIVE person came along
and avoided the subject of pits all together.
A SELF-PITYING person came along and said:
"You haven't seen anything till you've seen my pit."
A CHARISMATIC said:
"Just confess that you are not in the pit!"
An OPTIMIST said:
"Things could be worse."
A PESSIMIST said:
"Things are going to get worse."
JESUS, seeing the man
took him by the hand and lifted him out of the pit.