What a beautiful time of year. God is so good to His children.
I wanted to update you on everything. I had surgery on the 23rd to have a port put into my chest. It is where they will hook the chemo up. I will have it in for about 6 months or so. They want to watch and see if I will need more chemo. I say no. Moving on...
The procedure went fine. I did okay with the anesthesia until I got out of the Jeep when we got home.. I was so afraid to get sick as I didn't want to pull or rip the port out of my chest. But I did and it didn't rip.. To much info? Sorry.
The next day was kind of a blur. I was really afraid that Christmas was going to be hard, but my mother in law was here and she took such good care of us. My precious friends were here as well. I woke up Christmas morning still sore from the port and still very tired but had a beautiful day. We opened gifts and went to see Tangled that morning. We then had friends come. It was great.
I don't have a lot of energy. Over the last several months I have had times where I feel run down. It seems to be getting worse. I don't know if it is cancer or if it is my emotions or both. But does it really matter why? I start chemo and it is going to kill it anyway. And as far as emotions go, well, why wouldn't I feel this way? I still believe in my Father! He is the source of my strength and joy. My hope is in Him! When I hurt, He is my hope. In the good and bad, He is my hope. Period.
So tomorrow is the big day. Chemotherapy. The only glitch is we are waiting for a test to come back to see if I am positive for the Her2 chromosome. I certainly hope not. I will have a different medicine with my chemo and that chromosome is not a good thing at all. It is like giving shots of espresso to a kid. It just acts like its bouncing of the walls. Very aggressive. But if we don't get the results back I have to put off the chemo until the next day. The two doctors that were supposed to read the results went off to have Christmas! Seriously?! JK. They can have Cmas too... hehe. Anyway, hopefully we will hear from them by tomorrow morning and I could start chemo on track. I am anxious to get this going as I feel like I am walking around with this growing and spreading in my body.
On the other side, I dread tomorrow. I have no idea how I am going to handle the medicine. I do know that I am going to lose the hair. So with the wisdom of a precious friend, who is fighting a harder battle with cancer than I am, I have decided to shave my head. I looked at Quenton and said, "I will decide when I lose this stuff, not the chemo!" Actually I shouted that statement with a little bit fire added to it.
So on the 3rd of January, we are having a small gathering that is called "Food, Fun, and Follicles" and we are gonna shave it.
Yes, we will party through this.
So tomorrow is the big day and I have a lot of emotions running through my heart. But God keeps laying on my heart an old song that says, "Because He lives, I can face tomorrow." Today I have joy, because He lives. I have hope, because He lives. I have courage, because He lives. I live, because HE LIVES! I will praise Him forever, because...HE LIVES!!
Thank you for touching my life! Thank you for being in my life!
Your friend,
Jen
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