How good is our God?! He is beyond our highest comprehension! Greater than our vastest imaginations! How our biggest concerns and our scariest times are such little things in His hands! What great comfort we can take in that. It is simple. He is great and mighty. And He is my Daddy.
He sat with me today.
It was a hard day for me, and He, who's seat is the heavens and earth His foot stool, sat by my recliner and held my hand. He focuses on me. He cries with me and He feels my pain. He knows my fears and He understands the emotions I can't figure out for myself. He understands why I felt like punching the windshield on the way home and scream and cry and whatever else would come out.
He feels this.
He feels me.
And I feel Him.
Here is the good news: We got the genetic testing back today... It is not genetic! Which means, I will NOT, I repeat NOT be passing this on to my beautiful daughters!! And I will be keeping those ovaries of mine. YES!! Thank you Jesus!
That is something I have really been concerned about. Whew!
Hear is the news I am disappointed about:
The Her2 protein test came back positive. There is good news about this and not so good news about this. Good news is they have a medicine to specifically go after the Her2 protein. So that medicine is part of my chemo now. This medicine is fairly new and before this medicine it was pretty well a death sentence! Praise God for new advances in medicine!
Not so good news is that now, instead of 4 months of 6 treatments every 3 weeks, I now have graduated to 1 year of 40 to 50 treatments once a week. :(
I praise Him anyway. I seriously praise Him anyway. I choose to praise Him anyway. He knows best and this is what is saving my life.
Her2 is adding aggressive to already aggressive and that means we must be aggressive.
Today I started one battle in this war. I salute my King by praising Him through each battle. And that is how this war is won.
He told Gideon through an angel of the Lord..
Judges 6:12 When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, “The LORD is with you, mighty warrior.”
He has spoken to me for more than 6 months, that verse. Now I understand why. Through the grace and the might of my Daddy, I am a mighty warrior. Ready for this battle. What He has asked me to do is rest in Him and praise Him.
I will do that with all my might.
If it sounds as if I am rambling to you, forgive me. But I am not about to change my stand or my battle cry! I will continually speak the victory of my King! The one I bow my knee to and confess with my tongue that Jesus Christ is Lord and He is my salvation! My deliverer!
How I feel physically right now is pretty dizzy. Had quite a bit of nausea. I tried to eat something and it already tastes like pledge. Ever had that stuff? Gross!
The doc has prescribed me some anti-nausea medication and sleep aid as there is something in my chemo that might keep me awake tonight. I don't do well with that kind of stuff.
They gave me a double dose of the Her2 medicine and then go to "normal" doses next week. They jump on it pretty hard. Since I am taking it every week it is a more level dose and it won't be as strong as waiting every three weeks. In the long run I will have had more chemo, and stronger, but I get it in lower doses every week. So that means my hair may hang on a little longer and I could only have a lot of thinning but it may look so bad that shaving it will be best. So we will see. No guarantees. But now...I really don't care. I don't know why. I just don't care that much. That, to me is good.
So all of this will go as planned. Big prayer right now: Pray that the tumor absolutely responds to the medicine. If not, not good. So we are believing that this tumor is responding right now as I am writing this!
Wow.. God helped me write a lot! Didn't feel like writing but He helped me. He is so cool.
Yesterday, I got a card in the mail from a precious lady I don't know from Dover, AR. She is a friend of a friend of a friend! hehe. So she is twice removed? ;) Anyway, she shared with me in such a precious way that she is receiving my updates from her friend. THE LORD IS ENCOURAGING HER THROUGH MY BATTLE! HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD?! People like her are the reason I share my faith in Him. I have received many emails and requests to keep sharing. I praise God for that, as He knew I would need encouragement to do this. He is working through my meager hands and intellect. He is great and mighty and powerful through us. That is what you call grace, friend. Thank you Precious Father for allowing me to walk in your suffering for your glory and your amazing work! What an honor! What a true honor! Just simply honored.
In His amazing grasp,
jen
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